Nine
years ago I left a beautiful mountain home to live in a city where my wife
Karin had the opportunity to lead an innovative charter school community.
Each
of us went through a dark night of the soul experience, she in an impossibly
demanding administrative job that was killing her by the day and me, with no
friends, no job or contract, no community. I was suffering both a professional
identity crisis on one level and something even deeper. I descended into a pit
devoid of a clear sense of purpose; not at all sure of what was coming next in
my life and livelihood. I’d participated and leaded in some of the great causes
of the day, had been a passionate college teacher, a counselor, leadership
trainer and organizational consultant, had engaged with and helped thousands. Suddenly I was at a crossroads where I felt incapable of helping myself. I
was depressed.
I
began to go on long walks in the country outside the city. In my turmoil and
struggle I remembered a recording of a story a friend I’d met at a men’s gathering
had sent me years before. Something told me I needed to listen to it. Robert
Bly the poet, James Hillman the Jungian analyst and Michael Meade, the
psychologist and storyteller framed a mythical story about a man that needed to
fall to the bottom of the sea to recover his inner treasure and strength.
Something in that story resonated with me and I began to feel a release of the
dread and fear that had me in its grip. I realized the only way out was to go
through these contracted feelings, not resist, avoid or try to go around them. Truly,
as Carl Jung had first said, “what we resist persists.” I remember adopting the
phrase, “this really sucks, but I welcome it!”
It
seems almost paradoxical, doesn’t it? The more I let go and surrendered to the
experience I was having, the more these feelings began to dissipate and
dissolve. I became hopeful again.
Not
long after that I was asked to join the team of a well-known organization
seeking to acquire private lands for one of the biggest regional parks in the greater
metropolitan area. My skills, contacts and presence helped to secure millions
of dollars and a successful acquisition. I had new friends, new community and
meaningful work. Certainly that was a win for all. My biggest win though was
the inside job that had occurred when I let go and allowed myself to feel and
be with my own experience. The victory for me was nothing less than a reunion
of myself with myself and the feeling of hope and wholeness that came as its
own reward.
And,
when I allowed myself to listen there really was that still small voice that
came through with this.
I am here to enjoy myself,
enjoy whom I’m with and to make a big difference in people’s lives.
To
tell you the truth, I had not been looking for a purpose statement, but there
it was! It seemed almost too simple. Not a new professional identity but more
of a calling to a more expanded version of myself. And you know, it still works
for me all these years later as I’ve pursued a number of businesses,
enterprises and projects with partners and people.
Maybe
having a purpose statement is not so important for you. I can only speak for
me….when I listen to me!
You
can listen to more about my own quest to kindle and rekindle my passions and
sense of purpose in recorded interviews with me and Chris Attwood, co-author of
the still best-selling book, The Passion
Test, Jack Canfield, now a success guru with 150 million of his books in
the world, along with Neal Donald Walsch author of Conversations With God and a new book out now. Also Dan Millman, author of The
Way of the Peaceful Warrior and several other men looking for greater
meaning in life while helping others do the same.
This
groundbreaking event called The Power of
Purpose Tele-summit for Men is still available by simply registering for
free and picking from any of the 12 interviews you’d like to listen to, each
about an hour in length. I’m still listening to them and they’re terrific.
You
know why? Lots of reasons. What I
am most impressed with is that each of these men, some deemed great successes
in the outer world, went through some version of what I just shared with you
and each is humble enough to realize that outward success is only one measure
and not necessarily the most important thing in their lives. Finding out more
about who they really are and living their passions is.
I
invite you to join me at this Summit anytime by going to:
And
by the way, Chris Kyle and George Daryani of the non-profit Mankind Project USA,
the interviewers that hosted the Summit, are offering a powerful groundbreaking
seven-week online course for men called Man
On Purpose. You’ll see it at the site. It begins this month. No need to
struggle alone when you have these guys on your team.
